Clearing a loved one’s home

1. Take your time, and don’t do it alone

Unless the home has to be empty by a set date, there’s no need to rush. Short sessions of two or three hours are easier than whole days. If you can, bring someone with you, even just for company. If the home is rented, ask the landlord or the council how long you have.

2. Check who can make decisions

After a death, the belongings are part of the estate. The executor named in the will (or an administrator, if there’s no will) is responsible for them, and usually needs a grant of probate or letters of administration before dealing with the estate. Agree with the executor before anything is sold, given away or thrown away, and keep a note of what’s sold and for how much, because the money belongs to the estate. If anything is valuable, or there’s disagreement in the family, the executor should get legal advice.

After a move into a nursing home, the belongings still belong to your loved one. Involve them as much as you can. If they can no longer decide, someone they appointed under an enduring power of attorney, or a decision-making representative, may be able to act for them; the Decision Support Service explains how this works.

3. Find the important papers first

Before you sort anything else, look for the will, bank and credit union statements, pension and insurance letters, property deeds, passports, medical cards, the Public Services Card and spare keys. Check pockets, handbags, drawers and between the pages of books. Put everything in one “papers” box.

If the home will be empty, tell the home insurer, because empty homes often need different cover.

4. Tell the right people

• The death needs to be registered, usually by a relative, at a civil registration office. Citizens Information’s bereavement guide explains how, and the Citizens Information Phone Service (0818 07 4000) can help.
• Tell the Department of Social Protection if your loved one received a State pension or other payment, and their bank, credit union, utilities and insurers.
• An Post can redirect their post to you, for a fee. Ask at a Post Office.

5. Let family and friends choose first

Before anything is sold or donated, invite family and close friends to choose keepsakes. The will comes first for anything it mentions. For everything else, taking turns to choose one item at a time is a fair way to share things out. Take photos of things nobody can keep.

6. Sort room by room

Start with the easier rooms, such as the bathroom, kitchen or shed, and leave bedrooms, photos and letters until you’re ready. Sort everything into five piles:

Use the free declutter list to jot down what’s worth selling and roughly how much it might raise. It’s saved in your browser on one device, so use “Download as spreadsheet” to share it with the rest of the family.

7. Sell the things worth selling

Most of what’s in a home sells for very little, so focus on the few things worth the effort: furniture in good condition, jewellery and watches, tech, tools, bikes, collectables and designer items. Search eBay and tick Sold items to see what things actually sell for.

• Use the calculator to see where you’d keep the most, and the guides for furniture, phones, designer bags and books, DVDs and games.
• Get valuable items valued. For jewellery, antiques, art or a collection, ask an auction house. Some will sell a whole home’s contents for you.
• Don’t say in a listing that the owner has died or the house is empty. It can attract thieves. Arrange collections when someone is there with you.
• Watch for scams. See how to spot selling scams.

8. Donate what’s left

Clothes, books, homeware and furniture in good condition can go to a charity shop, and some charities collect furniture. The where to donate guide covers phones, electricals, books and bedding too.

9. Clear the rest

When everything wanted has gone, clear what’s left yourself with trips to the council recycling centre and a skip, or pay a house clearance firm.

• Get two or three quotes, and ask what will be sold, donated or recycled rather than sent to landfill. Check the firm has a waste collection permit.
• Do a last check of drawers, cupboards, the attic, the shed and under the beds before anyone comes.

Things that need special care

• Medicines: take them back to a pharmacy, which will dispose of them safely.
• Phones, tablets and computers: save the photos and check for important accounts before anything is wiped. The phones page shows how.
• Photos, letters and diaries: there’s no need to decide now. Box them up and come back to them later.
• Equipment on loan: return wheelchairs, hospital beds and other aids to the HSE service or organisation that lent them.
• Firearms: don’t move them. Contact your local Garda station, who will advise you.

Look after yourself

It’s normal to feel guilty about letting things go, or to find one ordinary object unexpectedly hard. Keeping a few things that matter is enough.

If you’d like to talk to someone, the Irish Hospice Foundation’s Bereavement Support Line is free on 1800 80 70 77, Monday to Friday, 10am to 1pm. Samaritans are on 116 123, any time.