Clearing a loved one’s home

1. Take your time, and don’t do it alone

Unless the home has to be empty by a set date, there’s no need to rush. Short sessions of two or three hours are easier than whole days. If you can, bring someone with you. If the home is rented, ask the landlord how long you have.

2. Check who can make decisions

After a death, the belongings are part of the estate. The executor named in the will (called the estate trustee in Ontario and the liquidator in Quebec) is responsible for them. Agree with the executor before anything is sold, given away or thrown away, and keep a note of what’s sold and for how much, because the money belongs to the estate. In Quebec, the liquidator must make an inventory of the property, so wait for that before anything leaves (Éducaloi). Rules differ between provinces, so if anything is valuable, the executor should get legal advice.

After a move into long-term care, the belongings still belong to your loved one. Involve them as much as you can. If they can no longer decide, someone with a power of attorney for property can act for them.

3. Find the important papers first

Before you sort anything else, look for the will, bank and investment statements, pension and insurance papers, tax slips, property papers, passports, health cards and spare keys. Check pockets, handbags, drawers and between the pages of books. Put everything in one “papers” box.

If the home will be empty, tell the home insurer, because empty homes often need different cover.

4. Forward the mail and tell the right people

• Canada Post can forward a deceased person’s mail to the executor. It’s a paid service, and you apply in person at a post office with the will or court certificate, proof of death and your photo ID. Keep it going for a year so you catch the tax slips.
• The Government of Canada’s what to do when someone dies page lists who to tell, including the CRA and Service Canada for CPP and OAS. Provinces report the death to the SIN program automatically.

5. Let family and friends choose first

Before anything is sold or donated, invite family and close friends to choose keepsakes. The will comes first for anything it mentions. For everything else, taking turns to choose one item at a time is a fair way to share things out. Take photos of things nobody can keep.

6. Sort room by room

Start with the easier rooms, such as the bathroom, kitchen or garage, and leave bedrooms, photos and letters until you’re ready. Sort everything into five piles:

Use the free declutter list to jot down what’s worth selling and roughly how much it might raise. It’s saved in your browser on one device, so use “Download as spreadsheet” to share it with the rest of the family.

7. Sell the things worth selling

Most of what’s in a home sells for very little, so focus on the few things worth the effort: furniture in good condition, jewellery and watches, tech, tools, bikes, collectables and designer items. Search eBay and tick Sold items to see what things actually sell for.

• Use the calculator to see where you’d keep the most, and the guides for furniture, phones, designer bags and books, DVDs and games.
• Get valuable items appraised. For jewellery, antiques, art or a collection, ask a local auction house. Some run estate sales for a whole home.
• Don’t say in a listing that the owner has died or the house is empty. It can attract thieves. Arrange pick-ups when someone is there with you.
• Watch for scams. See how to spot selling scams.

8. Donate what’s left

Clothes, books and household goods in good condition can go to a thrift store, and many Habitat for Humanity ReStores pick up furniture for free. See where to donate.

9. Clear the rest

When everything wanted has gone, clear what’s left yourself with trips to the city depot and a bulky item pick-up, or pay a junk removal or estate clearing company.

• Get two or three quotes, and ask what will be donated or recycled rather than sent to landfill.
• Do a last check of drawers, closets, the attic, the garage and under the beds before anyone comes.

Things that need special care

• Medicines: take them back to a pharmacy. Most provinces run free return programs.
• Phones, tablets and computers: save the photos and check for important accounts before anything is wiped. The phones page shows how.
• Photos, letters and diaries: there’s no need to decide now. Box them up and come back to them later.
• Equipment on loan: return mobility aids, hospital beds and other equipment to the service that lent them.
• Firearms: don’t move them. Contact the police or the Canadian Firearms Program for advice.

Look after yourself

It’s normal to feel guilty about letting things go, or to find one ordinary object unexpectedly hard. Keeping a few things that matter is enough.

MyGrief.ca, from the Canadian Virtual Hospice, has online grief support you can work through at your own pace. To find grief or caregiver support near you, call 2-1-1.